Police
guilty of ‘ploddledygook’
In
a Times article of July 3rd 2009 the Plain English Campaign described
a 102 word sentence as one that "defies understanding."
The sentence was part of a response to the Government’s Green Paper
on policing submitted by the Association of Chief Police Officers.
Do you agree with the Plain English Campaign that it
is "baffling", and that using gobbledegook is "inexcusable"?
"The promise of reform which the Green Paper
heralds holds much for the public and Service alike; local policing,
customized to local need with authentic answerability, strengthened
accountabilities at force level through reforms to police authorities
and HMIC, performance management at the service of localities with
targets and plans tailored to local needs, the end of centrally engineered
one size fits all initiatives, an intelligent approach to cutting
red tape through redesign of processes and cultures, a renewed emphasis
on strategic development so as to better equip our service to meet
the amorphous challenges of managing cross force harms, risks and
opportunities." |
Vocabulary: What examples of jargon
can you find? Can you find suitable alternatives?
Syntax: How would you restructure the
sentence to increase clarity?
What advice would you give to the author to help improve
the clarity of writing?
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